Our first visit

My hubby and I went to our new daughter's home city last Thursday to have our meeting. The meeting went very well and we learned so much about our new girl. We were set up to take her out on her first visit with just the two of us the next day and then take her home with us the following day for a first home visit. Once we all started discussing visits and trips, everyone attending felt that it would be better if we just kept her. So, they quickly planned a farewell party Saturday and we packed her up and took her home - for good. We told her she will never see that place again - unless she wants to visit friends. Her worker comes out next week to make it official! We still can't believe it went so well. Everything we had hoped for happened. She gets to stay with us permanently, go on a big trip with us, and even be homeschooled during the 6 month trial period. God is so good!

We had several questions for the people who have worked with her. What are her triggers, what makes her escalate, etc. They shared with us a few things, but the most valuable thing we were taught was how they asked her these questions. They asked her what makes her angry? And what can she do to keep herself from getting out of control in her new home. She told them that she could go pet the animals, because animals calm her down. (Obviously, she thought we were getting chosen) I would have never thought of that. We can all get carried away asking others how to help these children when all we need to do is just ask the children. Later, when we were in the car with her, we came up with additional things she can do to calm down and signals for me to let me know she is getting upset. We came up with: using words, taking a breather outside, jumping in the pool, going for a walk, punching a real punching bag, etc.
Friday was the day she was officially told that we were chosen. Shortly after we showed up to take her out for the day. She was beaming and telling everyone we are her new mommy and daddy. Even though she was extremely excited, we could tell she was nervous as well. She quickly started asking us for all sorts of things. She asked if we would paint her room bright pink, take out the carpet and give her hard wood floors, and she even asked for a new pet. We realized we were going to have to let her know what she would be able to have and what she would definitely not get. We were definitely going to have to start setting boundaries.


Shortly after, we took her out to eat. We learned so much about her during that time: What she likes to eat, manners, patience, etc. Next we took her to a nature center to see animals, which she loves. Then we took her kayaking. She was very excited about this, but also nervous the boat might tip over. We kept it afloat and she had a fun time. Swimming in the lake followed before we took her back to the home for the evening. The day was a perfect day filled with lots of quality time getting to know one another. It was hard having to take her back, but we also knew she needed this closure before moving on to her new life.

We our bringing our girl home next week!

Next week is our big presentation meeting with our little girl's workers and people who help take care of her. 24 hours later my hubby and I will be having our first official visit with her and then we will be bringing her home with us the following day!! We're not sure yet how long the visit will be, but we know she is coming home with us next week. It's all becoming very real!

There are so many thoughts and questions we have as we plan this next week's visit. We wish we could call and ask her, but she still can not know until 24 hours after the meeting. What would she like to do on her first visit with us? How long should the first visit be? Will she be staying the night with us at the hotel? Would she be comfortable with that? How will she feel not having Shrimp and Posie with us? Will she be scared driving home with us and entering our home for the first time? Even though she is so outgoing and she wants our family to adopt her, we imagine this is still going to be a very scary thing for her.

The wonderful part is that she does want our family and expects us to be chosen, so it will not be too much of a surprise. She is also eager to leave her current home, because it is not a family home life. She has lived in her current group home for 3 years now. She has not had the normal foster home experience since she was much younger. Even though we have heard the home is one of the nicer ones and I'm sure she has caring workers, she is still not used to having parents or a family atmosphere. I believe this will make the transition much easier than most adoptions because she already knows us and wants us, and she wants to get away from the home. However, it may be a difficult adjustment because she is coming from a much different home life.

We continue to pray that God will give her peace and love as she transitions into her new life. I know He will continue to give us all the love she will need from us and that He will slowly open her heart to our love. It will be an amazing journey!

We made a match at the adoption match party!

I am writing this to help those of you out there going through the adoption process. Whether it is through the state or private adoption agency, you will have these same opportunities. Even though this was a very emotional experience, we would definitely advise other adoptive parents to attend a match party. As you will see with our story, we were able to interact with any child we wanted to and speak personally with that child's caseworker. Most of us would not have the opportunity to speak with a child and the caseworker unless we were the chosen family after the selection process. So, first pray, go to a match party, play with the kiddos, and then pray some more. If the child or children are there, God will show you!

I am also writing this for the little girl we believe is meant to bless our family. This is just the beginning of her adoption story.

This weekend we went to our first adoption match party 4 hours away. Our family was excited, yet very uncomfortable with the idea of this. Shrimp was especially uncomfortable feeling that the children would be on showcase for us. I was praying the whole time that God would show us the one He wanted us to have. I asked him to have one stand out to us and for us to know he/she was the one. Well, I feel it happened just as I had prayed for it to happen. God showed us the one and it happened to be one we were interested in months ago, but we thought she had been adopted. 

We realized that if this one is truly going to be ours there was a reason it took our process so long. If we would have been certified sooner, this little girl would not have been available to us. She just became available again a couple weeks ago.

Here's how the day proceeded. We arrived and there were children of all ages everywhere. There were many children I was interested in, but not my husband. There were games, a bouncy house, basketball, and crafts going on around us. As we sat looking out at the children on the bouncy house, I prayed for Him to show us if the one was there. All the children were precious and beautiful and full of life that day. You look around and just want to take them all home. I knew I could not just go up to any of the children because I might give them false hope. So, I was praying and watching the children. I looked over at the line of people arriving and saw this little girl waiting in line to check in. I grabbed my husband's attention. I even interrupted him to show him this girl. As we were staring at her, my daughter and I realized she looked very familiar. She was a very small and petite little thing. We quickly learned it was the 12 year old girl we knew from the website months ago and wondered why she was there. We thought she had been adopted.

My hubby and I spoke briefly and we quickly felt that I should go talk to them. I went up to her and her caseworker and we started talking. I asked the girl if she knew she was famous. That I had seen her on a news show months ago. I told her she was an impressive gymnast and the next thing I know, she started doing flips for me excited to show off her skills. I was immediately struck by her bubbly personality. She was also very polite as she looked me in the eyes and answered every question. She went off to play in the bouncy house and Posie instantly followed. This gave me a chance to talk with her caseworker. The caseworker was a wealth of knowledge explaining everything to me and answering my questions. I found myself tearing up over what she was telling me. It was very hard to hear what all this little girl had been through. At that moment, I started to wonder if this was the one for us.

Very quickly we were approached by a woman who needed to take this little girl's picture for the adoption website again. As I walked away, my hubby and I noticed another couple following. I looked at my hubby and we felt we should go as well. It was very strange, almost as if we were fighting for this little girl's attention. Not what I had envisioned.

She was so sweet and answered the other couple's questions, but kept turning to us to talk. She pretty much went with us after that. She had others approach her, but it was only briefly. She ate with us and spent time with the kids on the bouncy house. I had a million questions for her. I wanted to know everything about her.

She had several children come up to say hello to her and we found out it's because they lived with each other at one point. We found out this sweet girl has been living in a group home for a year. We loved watching the sweet way she interacted with these friends. This was definitely an advantage. At one point, I thought she would leave us to go play with her friends, but she quickly turned to us and motioned saying, "The line is over here."

While we were sitting eating lunch, she was very sweet with my hubby asking politely to wear his sunglasses. After, she gave them back nicely even though the other kids were asking to wear them as well. The way she interacted with him was precious and it surprised me. While we were eating, she asked us if we want to adopt her and I had to explain that it wasn't what we wanted that was important, it was finding the perfect family for her. She immediately told us she wanted us to adopt her. She said, "Please adopt me. I have my grandparent's phone number and I can call them." Then she turned to her caseworker and whispered that she wanted us to adopt her. It was all very sweet.

We found out that homeschooling would be in her best interest. She loves animals, just like our kids do. She went crazy when she found out we volunteer at the Humane Society. She absolutely loves huskies. She is completely a tom boy. She loves roller blading, biking, kickball, swimming, gymnastics, and animals. She even said her favorite tv show was Animal Planet. I noticed she has a creative side because her shoes were decorated. She said she used nail polish to decorate them. What a cute idea! We were not finding anything that we disliked about her. 

At the end of the day, she gave us a hug and left. I didn't want to let her go. I spoke with my hubby to see how he felt and instantly went to fill out an interest card on her. Her caseworker had given me the only business card she had and asked us to call her and have our caseworker submit our home study.

We all left feeling mixed emotions: excitement yet sadness for all the children there who did not have a family approach them. Our whole family liked this girl and wanted to adopt her. We felt she would fit perfectly into our family and we just wanted to take her with us that afternoon to go camping. Of course, it did not happen. We spent the entire weekend talking about her and thinking of all the things we wanted to do with her and show her. We just wanted to take her home, protect her and love her.  

Now, we thought this meant that we might get to see her again sooner and the process would move along more quickly, but we found out today that we were wrong. We do get to receive info on her next week to decide if we want to proceed. Next, we will still have to go through the selecion process. Other case workers will gather together with ours to make the decision. We do have an advantage given that we met her and had a connection with her. But, it may take a couple weeks for us to find out anything and start having visits. Again, I have to remind myself it's all in God's timing. I am so full of excitement and joy thinking she is the one. But, I am also praying for this little girl to find the right home for her, because ultimately that is what matters. And I keep thanking our loving, faithful God for blessing us with this opportunity!