We found out one week ago that we are now certified as foster and adopt parents! It took a little longer, but we can now foster children. We feel so blessed and honored to be trusted with the precious children God will bring into our lives.
I am so excited, because I feel this was a door we had shut. We thought we only wanted to adopt and did not consider that God may have wanted us to become foster to adopt parents. We found the adoption process to be a very long and emotional journey. Each time, you are hoping and praying to be the chosen family only to find out another family was chosen or no family was chosen at all. Many of the children we asked for are still waiting for their forever family on the website. We can only know in our hearts that God closed that door on us. They were not the child or children for our family. During the last two years, we received many calls asking us to foster to adopt a child or children, yet we could not because we were only adoption certified only. I am just excited because now I feel God is choosing the children for us. Thank you Lord!
This last month we have had the privilege of doing respite for a couple foster families while we waited to be certified. They were all a joy and some more work than others. A couple kids needed close supervision. Just in a few short days we kept the children, I really came to respect what foster parents do every day.
We had our first official call a couple weeks ago to take in 2 small children to foster to adopt. They were so excited until they found out we were not actually complete. They wanted a family who was completely certified. We had thought we were complete or close to complete; however, we had a couple more things pop up. So, the children were given to another family; it was not meant to be.
Now, we are ready to begin our new journey! I know With God all things are possible. He will be with us every step and every child. I pray He shows us what each child needs who comes through our door. I know our lives and hearts will be touched by them as well!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Selecting children, having faith, and the waiting game
I wanted to write this post because we are currently in the waiting game again and I felt I left out some information in a previous post about selecting children to adopt. We have been selecting children and waiting since April. After praying for God's will, God showed us He does still want us to adopt, so we have been seeking children of all ages and groups. And, yes, we are still waiting!
One of the things not shared with us in the beginning was that a family can select as many children as they want. Now this is for the state of Texas. I'm not sure how it works in other states. We thought we could only ask for one child or one group at a time. No, you can choose as many as you are interested in at a time. Our sweet, patient worker sometimes submits for up to 5 a week for us.
This can be a hard time as you select a child based on one picture and a short description of that child. I don't know about you, but how can you know this is the child God wants you to have?
Well, I decided to give it all to God and I would urge you to do the same. And I mean completely trusting in Him and what He wants for your family. I realized the more and more we looked, we were still being very selective.
We initially only wanted children between the ages of 6-10 and no more than 2 children. Now, I am asking for all sorts of children, even sibling groups of 3, which my husband said no to. The only thing we realized is we don't believe He wants us to have a child older than our oldest son, who is now 13 and that we can't take in a severe child. Besides those 2 things, we are trusting God completely. Are you?
Every day I would look at the website and the broadcasts sent out to us and realize we were still being too selective. I started asking for several children a day asking God to shut the door on the ones He does not want us to have. Yes, my friends and family do think I'm crazy! But, I am not about to tell God what I believe He wants for our family.
This has given me an incredible peace as I realized He is doing exactly what I asked for. We have received a few phone calls and emails saying we are being considered for different children. Occasionally, we hear that we were not selected for a child or children, but mostly we don't hear back at all. Thank you, Lord, for shutting those doors!
One day I received a phone call saying we are being considered for a group of 3. An hour later another group of 3. I'm not sure if God wants us to have one of these groups or if He is trying to show us something. Whatever it is, I am trusting Him to close the door if they are not the ones He wants for us.
We know we are currently in the top 3 for one of the sibling groups, but again, we have been waiting for over a month. We do know we are still being considered and there is a new selection date, so we are just waiting.
Do we see ourselves with 3 or want 3 children? No! But, do we really know what God wants us to have? Again, No! We just have to trust that He knows what is best for us and who needs us.
I have had friends and family who roll their eyes or make comments about how many I have submitted for. They think I'm being impatient or testing God. Or they'll make comments like I don't think God wants you to have older ones again or I don't think God wants you to have 3. All I can say to you is - Don't worry about what others say or think. I value my friends and families' opinions, but they are their opinions. How do they know what God wants for your family? Be careful when taking advice from others.
I urge you to prayerfully consider how you are handling the adoption selection process and just remember to be patient and trust in God. Let Him lead you.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
One of the things not shared with us in the beginning was that a family can select as many children as they want. Now this is for the state of Texas. I'm not sure how it works in other states. We thought we could only ask for one child or one group at a time. No, you can choose as many as you are interested in at a time. Our sweet, patient worker sometimes submits for up to 5 a week for us.
This can be a hard time as you select a child based on one picture and a short description of that child. I don't know about you, but how can you know this is the child God wants you to have?
Well, I decided to give it all to God and I would urge you to do the same. And I mean completely trusting in Him and what He wants for your family. I realized the more and more we looked, we were still being very selective.
We initially only wanted children between the ages of 6-10 and no more than 2 children. Now, I am asking for all sorts of children, even sibling groups of 3, which my husband said no to. The only thing we realized is we don't believe He wants us to have a child older than our oldest son, who is now 13 and that we can't take in a severe child. Besides those 2 things, we are trusting God completely. Are you?
Every day I would look at the website and the broadcasts sent out to us and realize we were still being too selective. I started asking for several children a day asking God to shut the door on the ones He does not want us to have. Yes, my friends and family do think I'm crazy! But, I am not about to tell God what I believe He wants for our family.
This has given me an incredible peace as I realized He is doing exactly what I asked for. We have received a few phone calls and emails saying we are being considered for different children. Occasionally, we hear that we were not selected for a child or children, but mostly we don't hear back at all. Thank you, Lord, for shutting those doors!
One day I received a phone call saying we are being considered for a group of 3. An hour later another group of 3. I'm not sure if God wants us to have one of these groups or if He is trying to show us something. Whatever it is, I am trusting Him to close the door if they are not the ones He wants for us.
We know we are currently in the top 3 for one of the sibling groups, but again, we have been waiting for over a month. We do know we are still being considered and there is a new selection date, so we are just waiting.
Do we see ourselves with 3 or want 3 children? No! But, do we really know what God wants us to have? Again, No! We just have to trust that He knows what is best for us and who needs us.
I have had friends and family who roll their eyes or make comments about how many I have submitted for. They think I'm being impatient or testing God. Or they'll make comments like I don't think God wants you to have older ones again or I don't think God wants you to have 3. All I can say to you is - Don't worry about what others say or think. I value my friends and families' opinions, but they are their opinions. How do they know what God wants for your family? Be careful when taking advice from others.
I urge you to prayerfully consider how you are handling the adoption selection process and just remember to be patient and trust in God. Let Him lead you.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
Friday, July 5, 2013
Helpful advice after you are selected to adopt a child through CPS
This is a very exciting and emotional part of your adoption journey. It's the moment your family has all been waiting for. Here are a few things to think about as you begin your adoption journey.
After you have been selected for a child or sibling group, your family is so excited to meet the child. You start to imagine the child in your family and in your home. You may even begin to set up their room.
Before we met our child, I read the same thing. Take it slowly, but the next thing you know we were taking the child home for good after our first formal visit. We should have heeded advice and taken it more slowly.
After being selected, you will receive all sorts of information about your child: Psych reports, family history, medical reports, etc. Please make sure you have received it all and the most current reports. Once you have it all, take your time to read it all, discuss with your spouse, and pray about it. Don't rush this process.
A large box was given to us an hour before meeting her. We read through it as quickly as possible and then decided it was too much to go through.
Also, if you question anything in the report, this is your opportunity to ask the worker questions. They want you to ask questions. They want you completely informed. Don't be afraid to ask too many questions or to ask to have more time.
Next, you will either be given the opportunity to speak with the child on the phone or most likely, set up a first meeting date. If you are meeting the child, set up a short afternoon visit in their foster home and get to know them and their foster family.
Do not let the worker talk you into taking the child home after the first visit. Our child's team felt it was in her best interest to limit visits. They felt she didn't need to go back to her home because it was a RTC and they felt she would have more issues. As we look back on this, we realize it moved way too quickly and we should have set up more visits. Your family and your child needs time to process the changes that are occurring.
Go home and have a family meeting and pray. If you feel the first meeting went well, tell the worker you want to proceed and set up another visit.
Ask the foster parents what the child might be interested in doing before you make plans. We knew our child was interested in the outdoors and adventure, so we took her kayaking and she loved it.
Once your family has started having long weekend visits in your home, you may have a good feeling about this child or you may not feel this is the child for your family. Do not be afraid to back out at this point. It's better to know now before the child moves in with you. Pray and ask God to show you if this is the child for your family. Trust God and enjoy your new child!
If you are currently in this process, I would love to hear how your adoption journey is going or for you to offer any additional advice to others in the process of adopting.
After you have been selected for a child or sibling group, your family is so excited to meet the child. You start to imagine the child in your family and in your home. You may even begin to set up their room.
- First piece of advice is to take the next steps slowly.
Before we met our child, I read the same thing. Take it slowly, but the next thing you know we were taking the child home for good after our first formal visit. We should have heeded advice and taken it more slowly.
- Read, re-read, discuss, ask questions, and pray about the information you receive
After being selected, you will receive all sorts of information about your child: Psych reports, family history, medical reports, etc. Please make sure you have received it all and the most current reports. Once you have it all, take your time to read it all, discuss with your spouse, and pray about it. Don't rush this process.
A large box was given to us an hour before meeting her. We read through it as quickly as possible and then decided it was too much to go through.
Also, if you question anything in the report, this is your opportunity to ask the worker questions. They want you to ask questions. They want you completely informed. Don't be afraid to ask too many questions or to ask to have more time.
- Set up as many visits as possible
Next, you will either be given the opportunity to speak with the child on the phone or most likely, set up a first meeting date. If you are meeting the child, set up a short afternoon visit in their foster home and get to know them and their foster family.
Do not let the worker talk you into taking the child home after the first visit. Our child's team felt it was in her best interest to limit visits. They felt she didn't need to go back to her home because it was a RTC and they felt she would have more issues. As we look back on this, we realize it moved way too quickly and we should have set up more visits. Your family and your child needs time to process the changes that are occurring.
Go home and have a family meeting and pray. If you feel the first meeting went well, tell the worker you want to proceed and set up another visit.
Ask the foster parents what the child might be interested in doing before you make plans. We knew our child was interested in the outdoors and adventure, so we took her kayaking and she loved it.
Once your family has started having long weekend visits in your home, you may have a good feeling about this child or you may not feel this is the child for your family. Do not be afraid to back out at this point. It's better to know now before the child moves in with you. Pray and ask God to show you if this is the child for your family. Trust God and enjoy your new child!
If you are currently in this process, I would love to hear how your adoption journey is going or for you to offer any additional advice to others in the process of adopting.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Our first visit
My hubby and I went to our new daughter's home city last Thursday to have our meeting. The meeting went very well and we learned so much about our new girl. We were set up to take her out on her first visit with just the two of us the next day and then take her home with us the following day for a first home visit. Once we all started discussing visits and trips, everyone attending felt that it would be better if we just kept her. So, they quickly planned a farewell party Saturday and we packed her up and took her home - for good. We told her she will never see that place again - unless she wants to visit friends. Her worker comes out next week to make it official! We still can't believe it went so well. Everything we had hoped for happened. She gets to stay with us permanently, go on a big trip with us, and even be homeschooled during the 6 month trial period. God is so good!
We had several questions for the people who have worked with her. What are her triggers, what makes her escalate, etc. They shared with us a few things, but the most valuable thing we were taught was how they asked her these questions. They asked her what makes her angry? And what can she do to keep herself from getting out of control in her new home. She told them that she could go pet the animals, because animals calm her down. (Obviously, she thought we were getting chosen) I would have never thought of that. We can all get carried away asking others how to help these children when all we need to do is just ask the children. Later, when we were in the car with her, we came up with additional things she can do to calm down and signals for me to let me know she is getting upset. We came up with: using words, taking a breather outside, jumping in the pool, going for a walk, punching a real punching bag, etc.
Friday was the day she was officially told that we were chosen. Shortly after we showed up to take her out for the day. She was beaming and telling everyone we are her new mommy and daddy. Even though she was extremely excited, we could tell she was nervous as well. She quickly started asking us for all sorts of things. She asked if we would paint her room bright pink, take out the carpet and give her hard wood floors, and she even asked for a new pet. We realized we were going to have to let her know what she would be able to have and what she would definitely not get. We were definitely going to have to start setting boundaries.
Shortly after, we took her out to eat. We learned so much about her during that time: What she likes to eat, manners, patience, etc. Next we took her to a nature center to see animals, which she loves. Then we took her kayaking. She was very excited about this, but also nervous the boat might tip over. We kept it afloat and she had a fun time. Swimming in the lake followed before we took her back to the home for the evening. The day was a perfect day filled with lots of quality time getting to know one another. It was hard having to take her back, but we also knew she needed this closure before moving on to her new life.
We had several questions for the people who have worked with her. What are her triggers, what makes her escalate, etc. They shared with us a few things, but the most valuable thing we were taught was how they asked her these questions. They asked her what makes her angry? And what can she do to keep herself from getting out of control in her new home. She told them that she could go pet the animals, because animals calm her down. (Obviously, she thought we were getting chosen) I would have never thought of that. We can all get carried away asking others how to help these children when all we need to do is just ask the children. Later, when we were in the car with her, we came up with additional things she can do to calm down and signals for me to let me know she is getting upset. We came up with: using words, taking a breather outside, jumping in the pool, going for a walk, punching a real punching bag, etc.
Friday was the day she was officially told that we were chosen. Shortly after we showed up to take her out for the day. She was beaming and telling everyone we are her new mommy and daddy. Even though she was extremely excited, we could tell she was nervous as well. She quickly started asking us for all sorts of things. She asked if we would paint her room bright pink, take out the carpet and give her hard wood floors, and she even asked for a new pet. We realized we were going to have to let her know what she would be able to have and what she would definitely not get. We were definitely going to have to start setting boundaries.
Shortly after, we took her out to eat. We learned so much about her during that time: What she likes to eat, manners, patience, etc. Next we took her to a nature center to see animals, which she loves. Then we took her kayaking. She was very excited about this, but also nervous the boat might tip over. We kept it afloat and she had a fun time. Swimming in the lake followed before we took her back to the home for the evening. The day was a perfect day filled with lots of quality time getting to know one another. It was hard having to take her back, but we also knew she needed this closure before moving on to her new life.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
We our bringing our girl home next week!
Next week is our big presentation meeting with our little girl's workers and people who help take care of her. 24 hours later my hubby and I will be having our first official visit with her and then we will be bringing her home with us the following day!! We're not sure yet how long the visit will be, but we know she is coming home with us next week. It's all becoming very real!
There are so many thoughts and questions we have as we plan this next week's visit. We wish we could call and ask her, but she still can not know until 24 hours after the meeting. What would she like to do on her first visit with us? How long should the first visit be? Will she be staying the night with us at the hotel? Would she be comfortable with that? How will she feel not having Shrimp and Posie with us? Will she be scared driving home with us and entering our home for the first time? Even though she is so outgoing and she wants our family to adopt her, we imagine this is still going to be a very scary thing for her.
The wonderful part is that she does want our family and expects us to be chosen, so it will not be too much of a surprise. She is also eager to leave her current home, because it is not a family home life. She has lived in her current group home for 3 years now. She has not had the normal foster home experience since she was much younger. Even though we have heard the home is one of the nicer ones and I'm sure she has caring workers, she is still not used to having parents or a family atmosphere. I believe this will make the transition much easier than most adoptions because she already knows us and wants us, and she wants to get away from the home. However, it may be a difficult adjustment because she is coming from a much different home life.
We continue to pray that God will give her peace and love as she transitions into her new life. I know He will continue to give us all the love she will need from us and that He will slowly open her heart to our love. It will be an amazing journey!
There are so many thoughts and questions we have as we plan this next week's visit. We wish we could call and ask her, but she still can not know until 24 hours after the meeting. What would she like to do on her first visit with us? How long should the first visit be? Will she be staying the night with us at the hotel? Would she be comfortable with that? How will she feel not having Shrimp and Posie with us? Will she be scared driving home with us and entering our home for the first time? Even though she is so outgoing and she wants our family to adopt her, we imagine this is still going to be a very scary thing for her.
The wonderful part is that she does want our family and expects us to be chosen, so it will not be too much of a surprise. She is also eager to leave her current home, because it is not a family home life. She has lived in her current group home for 3 years now. She has not had the normal foster home experience since she was much younger. Even though we have heard the home is one of the nicer ones and I'm sure she has caring workers, she is still not used to having parents or a family atmosphere. I believe this will make the transition much easier than most adoptions because she already knows us and wants us, and she wants to get away from the home. However, it may be a difficult adjustment because she is coming from a much different home life.
We continue to pray that God will give her peace and love as she transitions into her new life. I know He will continue to give us all the love she will need from us and that He will slowly open her heart to our love. It will be an amazing journey!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
We made a match at the adoption match party!
I am writing this to help those of you out there going through the adoption process. Whether it is through the state or private adoption agency, you will have these same opportunities. Even though this was a very emotional experience, we would definitely advise other adoptive parents to attend a match party. As you will see with our story, we were able to interact with any child we wanted to and speak personally with that child's caseworker. Most of us would not have the opportunity to speak with a child and the caseworker unless we were the chosen family after the selection process. So, first pray, go to a match party, play with the kiddos, and then pray some more. If the child or children are there, God will show you!
I am also writing this for the little girl we believe is meant to bless our family. This is just the beginning of her adoption story.
This weekend we went to our first adoption match party 4 hours away. Our family was excited, yet very uncomfortable with the idea of this. Shrimp was especially uncomfortable feeling that the children would be on showcase for us. I was praying the whole time that God would show us the one He wanted us to have. I asked him to have one stand out to us and for us to know he/she was the one. Well, I feel it happened just as I had prayed for it to happen. God showed us the one and it happened to be one we were interested in months ago, but we thought she had been adopted.
We realized that if this one is truly going to be ours there was a reason it took our process so long. If we would have been certified sooner, this little girl would not have been available to us. She just became available again a couple weeks ago.
Here's how the day proceeded. We arrived and there were children of all ages everywhere. There were many children I was interested in, but not my husband. There were games, a bouncy house, basketball, and crafts going on around us. As we sat looking out at the children on the bouncy house, I prayed for Him to show us if the one was there. All the children were precious and beautiful and full of life that day. You look around and just want to take them all home. I knew I could not just go up to any of the children because I might give them false hope. So, I was praying and watching the children. I looked over at the line of people arriving and saw this little girl waiting in line to check in. I grabbed my husband's attention. I even interrupted him to show him this girl. As we were staring at her, my daughter and I realized she looked very familiar. She was a very small and petite little thing. We quickly learned it was the 12 year old girl we knew from the website months ago and wondered why she was there. We thought she had been adopted.
My hubby and I spoke briefly and we quickly felt that I should go talk to them. I went up to her and her caseworker and we started talking. I asked the girl if she knew she was famous. That I had seen her on a news show months ago. I told her she was an impressive gymnast and the next thing I know, she started doing flips for me excited to show off her skills. I was immediately struck by her bubbly personality. She was also very polite as she looked me in the eyes and answered every question. She went off to play in the bouncy house and Posie instantly followed. This gave me a chance to talk with her caseworker. The caseworker was a wealth of knowledge explaining everything to me and answering my questions. I found myself tearing up over what she was telling me. It was very hard to hear what all this little girl had been through. At that moment, I started to wonder if this was the one for us.
Very quickly we were approached by a woman who needed to take this little girl's picture for the adoption website again. As I walked away, my hubby and I noticed another couple following. I looked at my hubby and we felt we should go as well. It was very strange, almost as if we were fighting for this little girl's attention. Not what I had envisioned.
She was so sweet and answered the other couple's questions, but kept turning to us to talk. She pretty much went with us after that. She had others approach her, but it was only briefly. She ate with us and spent time with the kids on the bouncy house. I had a million questions for her. I wanted to know everything about her.
She had several children come up to say hello to her and we found out it's because they lived with each other at one point. We found out this sweet girl has been living in a group home for a year. We loved watching the sweet way she interacted with these friends. This was definitely an advantage. At one point, I thought she would leave us to go play with her friends, but she quickly turned to us and motioned saying, "The line is over here."
While we were sitting eating lunch, she was very sweet with my hubby asking politely to wear his sunglasses. After, she gave them back nicely even though the other kids were asking to wear them as well. The way she interacted with him was precious and it surprised me. While we were eating, she asked us if we want to adopt her and I had to explain that it wasn't what we wanted that was important, it was finding the perfect family for her. She immediately told us she wanted us to adopt her. She said, "Please adopt me. I have my grandparent's phone number and I can call them." Then she turned to her caseworker and whispered that she wanted us to adopt her. It was all very sweet.
We found out that homeschooling would be in her best interest. She loves animals, just like our kids do. She went crazy when she found out we volunteer at the Humane Society. She absolutely loves huskies. She is completely a tom boy. She loves roller blading, biking, kickball, swimming, gymnastics, and animals. She even said her favorite tv show was Animal Planet. I noticed she has a creative side because her shoes were decorated. She said she used nail polish to decorate them. What a cute idea! We were not finding anything that we disliked about her.
At the end of the day, she gave us a hug and left. I didn't want to let her go. I spoke with my hubby to see how he felt and instantly went to fill out an interest card on her. Her caseworker had given me the only business card she had and asked us to call her and have our caseworker submit our home study.
We all left feeling mixed emotions: excitement yet sadness for all the children there who did not have a family approach them. Our whole family liked this girl and wanted to adopt her. We felt she would fit perfectly into our family and we just wanted to take her with us that afternoon to go camping. Of course, it did not happen. We spent the entire weekend talking about her and thinking of all the things we wanted to do with her and show her. We just wanted to take her home, protect her and love her.
Now, we thought this meant that we might get to see her again sooner and the process would move along more quickly, but we found out today that we were wrong. We do get to receive info on her next week to decide if we want to proceed. Next, we will still have to go through the selecion process. Other case workers will gather together with ours to make the decision. We do have an advantage given that we met her and had a connection with her. But, it may take a couple weeks for us to find out anything and start having visits. Again, I have to remind myself it's all in God's timing. I am so full of excitement and joy thinking she is the one. But, I am also praying for this little girl to find the right home for her, because ultimately that is what matters. And I keep thanking our loving, faithful God for blessing us with this opportunity!
I am also writing this for the little girl we believe is meant to bless our family. This is just the beginning of her adoption story.
This weekend we went to our first adoption match party 4 hours away. Our family was excited, yet very uncomfortable with the idea of this. Shrimp was especially uncomfortable feeling that the children would be on showcase for us. I was praying the whole time that God would show us the one He wanted us to have. I asked him to have one stand out to us and for us to know he/she was the one. Well, I feel it happened just as I had prayed for it to happen. God showed us the one and it happened to be one we were interested in months ago, but we thought she had been adopted.
We realized that if this one is truly going to be ours there was a reason it took our process so long. If we would have been certified sooner, this little girl would not have been available to us. She just became available again a couple weeks ago.
Here's how the day proceeded. We arrived and there were children of all ages everywhere. There were many children I was interested in, but not my husband. There were games, a bouncy house, basketball, and crafts going on around us. As we sat looking out at the children on the bouncy house, I prayed for Him to show us if the one was there. All the children were precious and beautiful and full of life that day. You look around and just want to take them all home. I knew I could not just go up to any of the children because I might give them false hope. So, I was praying and watching the children. I looked over at the line of people arriving and saw this little girl waiting in line to check in. I grabbed my husband's attention. I even interrupted him to show him this girl. As we were staring at her, my daughter and I realized she looked very familiar. She was a very small and petite little thing. We quickly learned it was the 12 year old girl we knew from the website months ago and wondered why she was there. We thought she had been adopted.
My hubby and I spoke briefly and we quickly felt that I should go talk to them. I went up to her and her caseworker and we started talking. I asked the girl if she knew she was famous. That I had seen her on a news show months ago. I told her she was an impressive gymnast and the next thing I know, she started doing flips for me excited to show off her skills. I was immediately struck by her bubbly personality. She was also very polite as she looked me in the eyes and answered every question. She went off to play in the bouncy house and Posie instantly followed. This gave me a chance to talk with her caseworker. The caseworker was a wealth of knowledge explaining everything to me and answering my questions. I found myself tearing up over what she was telling me. It was very hard to hear what all this little girl had been through. At that moment, I started to wonder if this was the one for us.
Very quickly we were approached by a woman who needed to take this little girl's picture for the adoption website again. As I walked away, my hubby and I noticed another couple following. I looked at my hubby and we felt we should go as well. It was very strange, almost as if we were fighting for this little girl's attention. Not what I had envisioned.
She was so sweet and answered the other couple's questions, but kept turning to us to talk. She pretty much went with us after that. She had others approach her, but it was only briefly. She ate with us and spent time with the kids on the bouncy house. I had a million questions for her. I wanted to know everything about her.
She had several children come up to say hello to her and we found out it's because they lived with each other at one point. We found out this sweet girl has been living in a group home for a year. We loved watching the sweet way she interacted with these friends. This was definitely an advantage. At one point, I thought she would leave us to go play with her friends, but she quickly turned to us and motioned saying, "The line is over here."
While we were sitting eating lunch, she was very sweet with my hubby asking politely to wear his sunglasses. After, she gave them back nicely even though the other kids were asking to wear them as well. The way she interacted with him was precious and it surprised me. While we were eating, she asked us if we want to adopt her and I had to explain that it wasn't what we wanted that was important, it was finding the perfect family for her. She immediately told us she wanted us to adopt her. She said, "Please adopt me. I have my grandparent's phone number and I can call them." Then she turned to her caseworker and whispered that she wanted us to adopt her. It was all very sweet.
We found out that homeschooling would be in her best interest. She loves animals, just like our kids do. She went crazy when she found out we volunteer at the Humane Society. She absolutely loves huskies. She is completely a tom boy. She loves roller blading, biking, kickball, swimming, gymnastics, and animals. She even said her favorite tv show was Animal Planet. I noticed she has a creative side because her shoes were decorated. She said she used nail polish to decorate them. What a cute idea! We were not finding anything that we disliked about her.
At the end of the day, she gave us a hug and left. I didn't want to let her go. I spoke with my hubby to see how he felt and instantly went to fill out an interest card on her. Her caseworker had given me the only business card she had and asked us to call her and have our caseworker submit our home study.
We all left feeling mixed emotions: excitement yet sadness for all the children there who did not have a family approach them. Our whole family liked this girl and wanted to adopt her. We felt she would fit perfectly into our family and we just wanted to take her with us that afternoon to go camping. Of course, it did not happen. We spent the entire weekend talking about her and thinking of all the things we wanted to do with her and show her. We just wanted to take her home, protect her and love her.
Now, we thought this meant that we might get to see her again sooner and the process would move along more quickly, but we found out today that we were wrong. We do get to receive info on her next week to decide if we want to proceed. Next, we will still have to go through the selecion process. Other case workers will gather together with ours to make the decision. We do have an advantage given that we met her and had a connection with her. But, it may take a couple weeks for us to find out anything and start having visits. Again, I have to remind myself it's all in God's timing. I am so full of excitement and joy thinking she is the one. But, I am also praying for this little girl to find the right home for her, because ultimately that is what matters. And I keep thanking our loving, faithful God for blessing us with this opportunity!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Process of picking out the child
Now that we are officially certified adoptive parents, we can start to pick out the children! We started out wanting a boy and girl sibling group and then just one girl. We found a 10 year old girl we are interested in and we asked to be considered for her about a week ago. Then, yesterday, my hubby was interested in a sibling group of 3 girls. So funny, because my hubby was so set on just adding one to our family. Now, he is looking at adding 3! Shocking, but so sweet! He told me that if he could protect 3 girls from continuuing to get abused, then he would do it. But, we found out one of the girls has special needs. We're not sure if our family can handle that. We will just have to continue to pray. It's funny that I have seen so many adoptive families start off with wanting something specific only to end up adopting something totally different. You never know what the Lord has in mind.
This is how the process works from here on out. I am writing this post because we were told something totally different in the beginning. 6 months later, we were finally told how the process works. First, we look through the pages of children online or through emails sent to us. As a family, we pick out who we might be interested in. We see a short description of the child including: emotional, physical, and developmental needs. That's it. So, we pick out the child or children and put in a request to be considered for those children.
Next, the child's case worker looks through our applications to see which 3 families are the best choice for this child. Yes, can you believe there are more than 3 families. Each family in Texas has their own adoption worker. Now, each adoption worker from those 3 families plus the child's case worker get together to determine which family should be chosen.
Once they determine the top family, that family gets a folder of the child's entire life - what they know of him or her. Wow, you find out everything about the child including what kind of abuse they experienced! Then, after all that, the family decides if they are still interested. If they are interested, they set up a meeting date with the child and the adoptive family. If the family is not interested, they move onto another child and the process starts all over again.
I don't know about you, but that is one long process just to find out more information on a child. It seems like they could come up with an alternative process? Seems like more work for the workers than necessary.
This is how the process works from here on out. I am writing this post because we were told something totally different in the beginning. 6 months later, we were finally told how the process works. First, we look through the pages of children online or through emails sent to us. As a family, we pick out who we might be interested in. We see a short description of the child including: emotional, physical, and developmental needs. That's it. So, we pick out the child or children and put in a request to be considered for those children.
Next, the child's case worker looks through our applications to see which 3 families are the best choice for this child. Yes, can you believe there are more than 3 families. Each family in Texas has their own adoption worker. Now, each adoption worker from those 3 families plus the child's case worker get together to determine which family should be chosen.
Once they determine the top family, that family gets a folder of the child's entire life - what they know of him or her. Wow, you find out everything about the child including what kind of abuse they experienced! Then, after all that, the family decides if they are still interested. If they are interested, they set up a meeting date with the child and the adoptive family. If the family is not interested, they move onto another child and the process starts all over again.
I don't know about you, but that is one long process just to find out more information on a child. It seems like they could come up with an alternative process? Seems like more work for the workers than necessary.
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