Our first visit

My hubby and I went to our new daughter's home city last Thursday to have our meeting. The meeting went very well and we learned so much about our new girl. We were set up to take her out on her first visit with just the two of us the next day and then take her home with us the following day for a first home visit. Once we all started discussing visits and trips, everyone attending felt that it would be better if we just kept her. So, they quickly planned a farewell party Saturday and we packed her up and took her home - for good. We told her she will never see that place again - unless she wants to visit friends. Her worker comes out next week to make it official! We still can't believe it went so well. Everything we had hoped for happened. She gets to stay with us permanently, go on a big trip with us, and even be homeschooled during the 6 month trial period. God is so good!

We had several questions for the people who have worked with her. What are her triggers, what makes her escalate, etc. They shared with us a few things, but the most valuable thing we were taught was how they asked her these questions. They asked her what makes her angry? And what can she do to keep herself from getting out of control in her new home. She told them that she could go pet the animals, because animals calm her down. (Obviously, she thought we were getting chosen) I would have never thought of that. We can all get carried away asking others how to help these children when all we need to do is just ask the children. Later, when we were in the car with her, we came up with additional things she can do to calm down and signals for me to let me know she is getting upset. We came up with: using words, taking a breather outside, jumping in the pool, going for a walk, punching a real punching bag, etc.
Friday was the day she was officially told that we were chosen. Shortly after we showed up to take her out for the day. She was beaming and telling everyone we are her new mommy and daddy. Even though she was extremely excited, we could tell she was nervous as well. She quickly started asking us for all sorts of things. She asked if we would paint her room bright pink, take out the carpet and give her hard wood floors, and she even asked for a new pet. We realized we were going to have to let her know what she would be able to have and what she would definitely not get. We were definitely going to have to start setting boundaries.


Shortly after, we took her out to eat. We learned so much about her during that time: What she likes to eat, manners, patience, etc. Next we took her to a nature center to see animals, which she loves. Then we took her kayaking. She was very excited about this, but also nervous the boat might tip over. We kept it afloat and she had a fun time. Swimming in the lake followed before we took her back to the home for the evening. The day was a perfect day filled with lots of quality time getting to know one another. It was hard having to take her back, but we also knew she needed this closure before moving on to her new life.